Grief Stages

Typical Experiences

You can expect to pass through certain typical stages of grief. There is no strict order in which they come, and no strict guidelines on how to react to them. These are only ideas of stages that you’re likely to experience. Anytime during your grief you may have all or some of these stages. You may even go through other reactions and phases. More than likely, you will go back and forth through the stages on your way to recovery.

* The initial reaction to a significant loss is usually shock, disbelief and denial. Recognizing the loss is very important in accepting it.

*There will be a response to the pain and sorrow that varies with each person. There may be a time of anger and mixed-up emotions. This can be a very hard time, but the hurt should be felt and experienced in full.

*There will be a time of remembrance, then a time of letting go and acceptance.

Allow yourself to think about your loved one or what you’ve lost, remembering everything you can. After a while you will begin to let go of the hurtful things that delay your healing. Acceptance will follow the “letting go” process.

*Eventually you will come to a stage of rebuilding. You will be able to redefine who you are, face and actually embrace a “new normal” and a new reality. You will adjust to a new life, gain hope and discover your faith or have a renewal of faith.

There is no “correct way” to move through these stages. You may move forward and then feel a setback. This can happen a lot throughout your journey. Don’t be discouraged; just keep moving.

 

Perseverance

There are so many ups and downs on the journey through grief; you will experience many changes. You may feel good one day and the next day you could feel like everything is crashing down. Yes, there may be bad days but you don’t have to stay down. Pick yourself up again, and again, and again…keep going. Some falls may feel more intense than others but once again…keep going. Eventually your falls will become fewer and farther between; you will begin to notice that your falls aren’t as far down as they once were, or as hard. Persist forward on your journey no matter how difficult it may seem at times; that is perseverance. Through perseverance, you will notice an overall progression on your journey toward recovery.