Experiencing Joy Along with Grief

Roxy

Today our family felt a great loss as our loyal companion died at 2:32 pm. Roxy was 16 years old and has been a gentle and stable figure in our clan for almost as many years. After being rescued from an abusive home she came to us distrusting and scared. However, it didn’t take long for Roxy to win our hearts and for her to claim us all as her family. Her past was redeemed with a beautiful life providing protection and unconditional love to her family; and the adoration was returned. The joy and love Roxy gave this family exceeds the pain of losing her today. I choose to feel that way; I choose to dwell on the good she brought to us. She was undeniable the best dog for this family and we were blessed to have her for so many years. Our deep sorrow will pass but our fond memories never will.

 

Grief Changes Form

As a family, we had discussed numerous times the possibility of her death and each of us felt that when her time came we would be ready. Let me tell you, no matter how much you prepare, the shock and reality of losing a loved one can knock you off your feet! The reaction is emotionally and mentally surreal yet the physical effects are all too vivid. We all surrounded Roxy with love and comfort as she passed from this world. However when she was gone, the subtle nausea rose up with strength, violent tears exploded and legs tremble in weakness. I thought we were prepared! However, what seemed unbearable at the time, eased because of the love of each family member, support of friends, and the comfort of God. The pain of our loss is still present but its not consuming as it was in the moments leading up to her death. Grief changes; it doesn’t have to remain in its overwhelming original form if you allow it to progress.

 

Tragedy Strikes

Shortly after Roxy had died, my son called informing us he had lost a fellow firefighter on duty from the Houston Fire Department today. The Senior Captain was 49 years old and father of three. Piercing grief hits again, to a family I don’t even know, yet my heart is broken for each of them. A father, friend, and great man dies today unexpectedly and lives are forever changed. All of this grief and tragedy makes you stop and reevaluate your life; and it should. Nothing is certain; nothing is forever. We talked about it tonight; my husband and I. Never take life, time or loved ones for granted. It’s easy to succumb to grief, especially after a death, but when you do, you miss the remaining life. I know; I lost time and parts of my life after my dad died.

 

Grief and Joy Together

Grief is experienced but it must be done simultaneously with the joys of life. I am convinced of this, as hard as it may seem at the time. You must give the joy as much attention as you do the grief. Among the grief of this day, it was my son’s birthday. I can never get this day back, his 26th birthday, so I celebrate and thank God for that blessed event. Also, in a state a pure sadness this evening, I noticed the first iris of spring had bloomed in our front yard. As the sun set, I took the time to appreciate its beauty and be grateful for its appearance. I urge you to continue to observe and participate in the splendor and happiness of life even in the midst of sorrow and grief. By doing so, your heart will begin to heal and become stronger.