A Griever’s Time of “Let Down” After the Holidays

Holidays are Over, Back to Routine

The hustle and bustle of the holidays have passed and everyone is settling into the routines of the New Year. Back to normal, whatever that is. For those grieving the loss of someone or something special, there is no normal; “normal” has changed for whatever reason. Nonetheless, it is a time for structure and “getting back into the groove” of life.

As a recovering griever (I like that term because it depicts hope and progression but it also lets you know I will never stop remembering, missing, or loving who or what I have lost), I can tell you that the holidays can be very difficult at times. You never completely dispel that desire to have back what you lost or to be able to share the special times with a loved one that is no longer with you. It becomes bearable but you still miss what is gone during these times of celebration. However, the busyness of the holidays and special days can keep your mind and time occupied. Places to go, people to see, things to do. When the chaos returns to routine, there may be an unexpected let down of energy and emotions.

The “Let Down”

Since my birthday shortly follows the New Year, which shortly follows the Christmas holiday, which shortly follows Thanksgiving…my time of “let down” is now. Back to work, back to school, back to routine. It’s time to make plans for the year and the future and a good time to reevaluate life’s goals. Since this requires a great deal of thinking, it also requires stillness and quiet. That’s when it hits me out of the blue, the finality of my loss. My Daddy is NEVER going to celebrate my birthday with me again! He will NEVER sing Rockin’ Reindeer with the grandkids again! He will NEVER go on another family vacation! Oh my God…he’s not coming back. Four years of celebrating holidays and special days without him and this fact is just now sinking into my heart. My mind has known this all along so how can it possibly take so many years for my heart to catch up with the knowledge of the truth? What a blow.

My grief recovery continues.

Pressing On

Despite my new-found revelation, I press forward into the day, not drudgingly, but in a marching sense, as a soldier with a purpose. My grieving heart still found joy today. I even smiled while watching my granddogs relentlessly pursue the squirrel taunting them from the safety of high branches in the back yard. I listened, really listened, as my girls told me the events of their school day. I refuse to allow depression and despair back in to steal the joy of my life. There is joy in every day, even the ones sprinkled with grief.

As you return to your routine and “everyday” life, I pray you take just a moment to see the beauty and the gifts each day has to offer. Those beautiful things and people are all around us offering up strength and joy as we grieve. Make an effort to reach out, touch and appreciate these sweet blessings as you pass through the bitter moments of grief.