Be Open and Honest When Dealing with Grief of Any Kind

The Silent Struggle

I tend to internally struggle with things that hurt me to the point that it begins to overwhelm my mind and affect my body. Sometimes my regrets, offenses, and grief take the forefront of my thoughts and swallow all that’s good in my life. I must realize that it is me that allows the negative to occupy so much space. I am the only one that can give permission for these destructive feelings to stay. My mind is aware of that, but there are times it’s difficult to convince my heart. Sometimes I’m just so hurt and angry I don’t know what to do about it. When I get this way, I have a tendency to lock up all my thoughts and emotions and deal with it solo. I actually used to be the complete opposite, telling anyone who would listen all about my problems! I realized how inappropriate and destructive that was, so the pendulum swung the opposite direction and now it’s hard for me to be open when I need to be. Though I try so hard to keep my concerns private, I can’t hide the struggle I’m going through. It’s always obvious to those closest around me that something is wrong; most times those people will try to figure it out themselves. Did he do something wrong? Did she say something hurtful? They play the guessing game with their own heart and worry about something that usually doesn’t even concern them. Do I really think my silence is effective? Am I saving my friends and loved ones grief by not sharing my concerns? Actually, I am causing them more grief than if I would just be open and honest about what is bothering me.

Share Your Concerns

Have you been guilty of internalizing negative feelings? Are you trying to deal with your hurt alone? It’s best when you find someone you trust and share your feelings and concerns. It eases the burden when you share and often others can contribute to problem solving ideas. When you are troubled or grieving, tell at least one trusted person in your support system how you are doing and let him or her know what helps you and what doesn’t. If you are angry, hurt or disappointed about something that is taking too much of your time and energy, share that also with a trusted friend or family member. Be truthful when expressing your feelings. Don’t just say what you think someone wants to hear. Talk honestly about how you feel, what is going on with you and what you want. There are times you may want to write all your feelings and concerns out in a journal or just talk to God about it. These can still be effective ways of sharing your grief.

Move Forward

After sharing your concerns with someone, journaling it out or praying about it, then it is time to move forward. Make a choice to let go of the negative, putting it behind you and concentrate on the positive of the situation. Reflect on all the positive in your life. Being open and honest with your thoughts and feelings will allow you to progress in your grief journey, and in other situations; it will also help you release the negative things that are holding you back from your best.