Ask “Why?”

So Many Questions

Why do bad things happen? Why do young people die? Why do good people suffer? There are so many questions surrounding death, tragedy, and loss. So many questions but all too often, there are very few answers. After experiencing a loss of any kind, you may have concerns that demand answers. However, it can be a startling realization that not all questions can be answered. Sometimes, even the answers we do get may not be the answers we wanted.

Desiring Answers

Loss brings a sense of “out of control” to our lives so we, as grievers, seek answers to try to regain some sort of stability or try to make sense of hurtful situations. I believe it’s a deep human desire, even need, to have our questions answered. Do you find yourself asking “why?” to many different questions concerning your loss? Maybe you even ask “why me?” We feel that answers will help us heal or help us to understand the loss. We may feel answers will bring resolution to our grief. While answers can be helpful in some situations, you must not rely on them to bring you peace.

Release the Questions and Accept the Answers

Go ahead; ask all of the questions that concern you. It will actually do you good to voice your concerns and release your doubts. Write your questions down on a piece of paper or in your journal if you choose. You may want to ask your questions to a person in your support system or even ask God. Know that not all questions will be answered, or even can be answered. However, you may still receive comfort from releasing the questions and talking about them, even without getting all of the answers you want. You may find that talking about your doubts and concerns may help ease them, so feel free to communicate and ask. Process and think about the answers you do get and concentrate on accepting them. Just be prepared to also accept when there are no answers or the answers are not what you wanted. “Answers” do not hold your healing or your peace; your peace comes from releasing the questions and moving forward with the knowledge you have.